I’ve almost managed to convince myself that everything is fine.
I’ve talked myself into believing that things are different this time for a good reason…
I’ve tried to stop worrying.
But it’s been hard to remember to breathe.
After an entire week, the spotting seems to have stopped.
For the first time in days, the back pain has been barely noticeable.
Today I started to relax a bit.
Until I started having pain in my shoulder.
Then I got a little panicky.
Against my better judgment, I conferred with Google Howser, M.D.
Who, despite all the infinite internet wisdom, couldn't give me a straight answer about exactly what type of shoulder pain is associated with ectopic pregnancy.
There was a few mentions of “shoulder tip pain” but I’m still not really sure what that means.
I panicked a little more.
I called my husband and asked him what he thought.
He said it was probably nothing. And I explained that normally I would think so too, but I couldn’t ignore all the other unusual symptoms I have had recently.
The spotting, the lower back pain…
and now the shoulder.
All signs of trouble.
He accused me of being a hypochondriac.
I lost it then. I started crying. I told him that I always try to ignore every symptom, because I don’t want to bother anyone if it’s nothing.
I am scared of overreacting. Scared of looking stupid.
I don’t want to be sent to the doctor’s office or the E.R. if I don’t have to. Especially since it’s not exactly a fun time for me.
Mostly because there is usually a pelvic exam involved.
I am not a hypochondriac.
I just couldn’t rationalize everything enough to ease my mind anymore.
So I did what I knew I should have probably done a few days ago.
I did what many of you ladies told me to.
I broke down and called my OB/GYN.
I told the receptionist that I have been having some symptoms that I am concerned about.
She took my information and told me that a nurse would call me back.
Twelve hours later, I haven’t gotten that call.
I suppose that means that they’re not worried. And if they’re not all that worried, then I shouldn’t be. Right?
Thankfully, the shoulder pain has let up some. My husband has a theory that I may just have slept on it wrong, since it does feel similar to a muscle ache.
Here’s hoping that for once, he’s right.
And seriously, is it just me…
Or do I already have a (bump)?