I was having a wicked bout of insomnia last night.

Since I couldn’t sleep, I spent some quality time with my computer.

To make the experience a little more interesting, I decided to Google my blog.

The first page of results was rather anti-climatic. I was given the main link to my webpage, secondary links to some of my posts, and my profile for Blogger. The usual stuff you’d expect to pop up during an internet search.

One of the results that followed after that though, was a little bit surprising.


WTF? I am NOT an alcoholic housewife.

And I’m damned sure there are no videos of me out there pretending to be one.

I had to investigate, so I clicked the link.

And ended up here.

At a place called Organized Wisdom. From what I have gathered, the site gives its users alerts on heath topics from doctors and other experts in the medical field.

And my blog made it on there because a doctor/psychologist saw a crazy connection between my post, Alcohol Abuse, and that drunken housewife.

So he posted this:taggedsubabuse

And tweeted this:

alcohol twitter

Which in turn was also retweeted. By a cat…with keys?

And just to be clear, my original post was not about alcoholism. It was about how I accidently ingested an infinitesimal amount of spiked punch at my sister’s Halloween party last fall. While pregnant.

So I’m not really sure why this guy thought my blog would be a good match with the alcoholic housewife.

It’s not like I have a drinking problem.

As a matter of fact, if he did his research a little more recently, he’d discover that what I really have is a peeing problem.

My first thought, based on the fact that he tagged the link to my post with the label “substance abuse”, is that maybe this doctor was trying to make an example out of me.

Perhaps making me the poster child for pregnant, alcoholic mothers.

The alcoholic housewife post does claim that 5.2 women in America abuse alcohol.

Judging from the way I’ve been linked to this, Dr. Phil Peter probably thinks that I am one of them.

I can only assume the worst. He found The Suburban Princess Diaries, a blog about a stay-at-home-mom, saw the post title about Alcohol Abuse (probably didn’t bother to actually read it), and figured that it fit the bill.

I must be a poor, overwhelmed mother who hits the bottle to cope. Even while knocked up.

I think I have been head-shrinked without even asking for it.

So, I say to that dear doctor:

Thanks for the internet controversy, sir.

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