Fear.

Things are already so different this time around.

The day before my BFP, I started spotting. I thought I was getting my period.

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A zillion pregnancy tests later, I’ve ruled out that theory.

I’ve spotted on and off every day since.

Repeated consultations with Dr. Google have helped convince me that it’s probably normal, but I’m still a little anxious.

I have never spotted during any of my previous pregnancies.

I’ve been trying not to freak out, but then I started having terrible back pain.

Which has also been lingering around for the past few days.

It feels like I’ve been sleeping on concrete at night.

I’ve debated over calling my doctor, but I’m pretty sure they are going to tell me what I already know.

Don’t call unless it gets worse. Way worse.

And I don’t feel like it’s an emergency. I don’t feel like I’m losing the pregnancy. The spotting is not constant, and it’s super light. I haven’t had any bright red bleeding like when I’ve miscarried. No lack of pregnancy symptoms either.

In fact, I have actually had an insane amount of pregnancy symptoms already.

I think those are all good signs.

I’m convincing myself that it’s going to be fine, I just need to make it to that first prenatal appointment to get some reassurance.

Until then, I’m going to try not to be a total nervous wreck.



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