WTF is this?

Today I took a First Response Fertility Test.

I felt as though I had to. It was just sitting around in a drawer on the verge of expiring and because I am now beginning my third (OMG! THIRD?! My baby is only THREE months old, for crying out loud!) postpartum cycle I figured now would be as good a time as any.

Especially since I have been rather ambivalent about starting up those birth control pills. I figured having proof that my ovarian reserve was still well stocked would give me the extra bit of reassurance that I needed to finally stop making excuses and get back on the contraceptives already.

So, I tested. Just for fun.

Completely expecting the same good result that I got last year.

Instead I got this:

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If you have no idea what it means, let me explain. The instructions that come with this test state that a test with no second line or a line lighter than the control line is indicative of a low FSH level, which means that ovarian reserve (the quantity and quality of eggs) is normal.

A test line that is the same color and intensity as the control line or a line darker than the control line means that the FSH levels are high, which is an indicator of fertility problems due to poor egg quality/quantity.

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Maybe my vision is a little off, but those two lines look pretty identical to me.

Which caught me by surprise.

A surprise that, as the initial shock wore off, quickly turned into a mild panic.

How could I have failed a fertility test?

It doesn’t seem possible. I have been pregnant four times in the last four years. I’m not even thirty yet.

Why in the world would my FSH levels be high?

Now I don’t know what to do. We were going to wait four or five years before trying again, but if the results of that test are accurate, I’m not sure that we can afford the time.

What if my biological clock is already running out? Could that be why I have been feeling so on-the-fence about pregnancy prevention?

A lengthy Google search did bring up a couple of sites that mentioned breastfeeding causing high FSH levels, but none of them seemed very scientifically convincing.

Okay, so this is exactly why I need to stop conducting experiments in my bathroom.

Especially the ones that involve peeing on things.

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