Shutting Down the Factory

My six week postpartum visit was last Friday.

It was more than a little awkward.

Because my doctor is adamant that I take a long sabbatical from procreating and as soon as he entered the exam room, he was talking up birth control options.

He started out by trying to sell me on the idea of Mirena, an IUD that can prevent pregnancy for up to five years.

Since Matt and I have agreed to take a five year hiatus from reproducing, this does seem like the logical way to go.

Great. I would totally sign up, except I have read the warning labels for Mirena. Developing Pelvic Inflammatory Disease and/or having something attach to or go through the wall of my uterus is a risk I am not exactly comfortable taking. And personally, the idea of having a foreign object lingering around in my lady parts for half of a decade just kind of freaks me out.

I was actually surprised that my doctor even brought Mirena up in the first place. I shot him down on this option once before, 18 months earlier, when I had Bronx.

Apparently, this guy doesn’t have the greatest memory. Either that, or Mirena is cutting him a piece of the profit every time he prescribes it, and he figured he’d at least try once more to win me over.

I told him to forget about it.

With the IUD option off the table, he suggested Depo Provera, which is an injectable contraceptive that prevents pregnancy for up to three months.

I told him no way.

My problem with foreign objects apparently extends to synthetic hormones that hang around for extended periods of time as well.

I pled my case for the pill. Asked if I could please go back to the brand that I was on back in the day, even though I was breastfeeding.

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I couldn’t go on the mini-pill (which is the pill that is recommended for breastfeeding moms) like I did after Bronx was born .There was no way that I was going to subject myself to that world of crazy willingly again.

My OB agreed to let me go back on my old pill. He said that it potentially could effect my milk supply, which is why they normally steer clear of it, but apparently, it’s not very likely because the hormones are in such low doses.

He said he’s never seen it happen.

I left with my prescription. Not even ten minutes later, on the way to the pharmacy I realized that I have an issue I wasn’t ever really aware of until now.

I am a control freak. Especially when it comes to my fertility.

I want to be on the pill because I know that I can stop it at any time. That way, I am never more than 24 hours away from clearing all the extra hormones out of my system. The Pill can’t bench my baby-making machine for three months or five years like those other contraceptives.

As soon as I stop taking it, I can be right back in the game.

And I take a huge amount of comfort in that. It’s like my own little security blanket.

Of course, in reality, we are taking a long break. As soon as cycling resumes, the pills will start up and my ovaries will be notified that they are laid off until further notice.

And by further notice, I mean until all the ones we have now are in school.

After almost five years, the factory is being temporarily shut down.

2012 may be the first year since 2006 that I won’t spend pregnant at some point or another.

Which will be nice, especially if the world doesn’t end that year.

Stupid Mayan calendar.

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