I Write the Blogs.

I want to write the blogs that make the whole world read. However, there are things that I just hate about blogging and I avoid them. Like the plague. What I have to say next may excommunicate me from the majority of the blogger world, but I refuse to be a bloggy sell-out.

Here is a list of things that this mommy blogger will NEVER do.

1) Those stupid follow things that require a post about said stupid follow thingy. I have done these before, but I can only do so many boring-ass posts welcoming people to the site and generalizing what this whole piece of fabulous internet space is all about. And explaining my everlasting love for Phil Collins. These things don’t even generate a noteworthy amount of followers, which means it’s more trouble than it’s worth. And I have issues with people requiring me to write up a post about their blog hop just so I can be on their McLinky. It’s my blog and I’ll write what I want to. So even if I never get any more followers than I have right now, it’s okay. My readers are awesome and I like how elite of a group they are. That said, my blogwhore days are over.

2) Memes. I don’t even know what meme stands for and I don’t want anyone to explain it to me. I don’t care. All I know about memes are that they are freaking annoying and redundant. Every Thursday is Wacky Tacky Thursday on your blog? I think that means I’ll skip reading that day of week. I understand that these things are designed to help overcome writer’s block for people who can’t figure out what to post about every day. I have a much simpler solution. Do what I do. If I don’t have anything to talk about on a particular day, I just don’t post. It’s that easy. So please, skip the Paper Clip Ponderings hosted by Wickedly Wonderful Wendy every Sunday and I’ll stop skipping over you in Google Reader.

While I will never do the above mentioned blog acts, I understand that other people thoroughly enjoy participating in this crap and I would never want to dictate the content of someone else’s blog. It’s just not my cup of tea.

At least you can have the piece of mind knowing that you’ll never have to endure that kind of shit stuff here.

*And if you are still following me (or decide to start following me) after reading this post, you are as awesome as I said you were in #1.

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Let’s keep the funky fresh.

Cycle of Ten

This is the card I made my husband for Father’s Day this year.

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And then I gave him this for a present…

DSCN2235 The strange thing is that we are in some sort of every-ten-months baby-making pattern. It took us ten months to get pregnant with Kamryn. When he was ten months old, I got pregnant and then miscarried. Ten months after that, I got pregnant with Bronx.

Bronx is ten months old now and I am again officially…

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10 must be our lucky number.

Edward Can Suck It.

Excited about the new movie in The Twilight Saga?

I am. For all the wrong reasons.

And I designed a t-shirt to wear to the Eclipse premiere…

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…just to tick off all those Team Edward fans.

Want a crash course on all the valuable lessons I learned from the Twilight series? Save yourself the heartbreak of actually reading the books and click here.

Tag! I’m so it.

Welcome to everyone who found their way here by way of the Tuesday Tag Along! Thanks for visiting!

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If you are new to The Suburban Princess Diaries, I urge you to explore my world of happily ever after through these posts:

A Princess Pedigree – I did this one for a blog parade, but it should work just as well for a tag-a-long. I think I’ll just recycle it from now on for all future blog hopping events.

Meet the Suburban Princess – The standard “about me” post, made all the more obvious by the stellar (ahem) title.

And if you feel like getting cozy with my menu bar, you can check out momView, a section that I am beginning (and will continue) to fill with unbiased, honest-to-blog product reviews of everything I have ever bought or been given since my journey to motherhood began almost 4 years ago.

You can also click on the Ever After button in the menu bar, which will take you to a linked list of some of my more spectacular posts.

If you like anything that you see…feel free to grab my button and/or click the “Follow Me” sneakers in the left sidebar to follow my blog. I’ll stalk you if you stalk me.

And a big thanks to Mama Hen over at Mama’s Little Chick for giving me the Beautiful Blogger Award!

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This award has some rules. I am supposed to list 7 things that the blogging world already doesn’t know about me.

1) I have really wanted this award for a long time. I think that means I just admitted to how big of a geek I really am.

2) I never drink enough water, and because of that I have been cursed with reoccurring bouts of kidney stones. Kidney stones really suck.

3) I accidentally swear in front of my kids, but for some unknown reason, I always catch my potty mouth before I swear in front of someone else’s kid. I’m still trying to figure out what’s up with that one.

4) Flight of the Navigator is the best family movie ever. I watched it a billion times as a kid and now I have passed the torch on to my 3 year-old son, who can’t get enough of it either. That spaceship is so bad ass.

5) I have been masterminding a huge surprise for my husband this weekend and I have a horrible time keeping secrets. This is absolute torture. Stay tuned…I will be doing a blog post about this one in the near future.

6) In addition to being an ex-journalist, I am also an ex-phlebotomist. If you don’t know what that is, look it up. You’ll be happy that you learned something new.

7) I am a chronic insomniac. Which is why I have a blog.

I am passing this award on to one of my favorite reads, Single Infertile Female: Now What?

Amazing Race.

Remember how I said I was going to do a 5K run?

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Well, I did it. I ran the Sunburst 5K at Notre Dame last weekend.

And even though I thought it would kill me, I think I did pretty freaking amazing. I clocked at 40:19, but that was with a Port-a-Potty stop (that I had to wait in line for) around mile one. According to my sister’s Nike + iPod clock…we actually did it in a little less than 37 minutes.

I proved to myself that I can get my groove back. Hell yeah.

The Sunburst run was especially awesome. At the end, you get to run through the tunnel at Notre Dame stadium and the finish line is on the football field. It is such a great way to end a race. I full-on sprinted it, because, much to my surprise, I am a seriously hardcore badass.

I LOVED running through that tunnel. I pretended that I was getting ready to play football and then I started wishing for an imaginary helmet and shoulder pads. I probably was a little delusional from the runner’s high at that point, but it was fun anyway.

And here I am (no longer in football mode) sprinting to the finish line after clearing the tunnel.

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After the race, I managed to get some great photos around the Notre Dame campus before the rain and storms hit.

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We took some post-race victory shots.

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We played baby football…

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…and celebrated like football legends.

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I paid homage to the one and only “Touchdown Jesus”.

copyright-suburban princess diaries And we did our best angry leprechaun stance.

Go Fighting Irish!

The Anti-Romeo.

Tonight my husband revealed the real reason he took a picture of me on our first date.

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This was the photo he was going to use to start his “Wall of Shame”   A bulletin board collection of images showcasing all the women who were dumb enough or drunk enough to sleep with him. And I was going to be the kickoff girl.

Sadly, his dream never became a reality. I am the only action he’s gotten in the six years that have passed since that night.

What a prick, ahem, Prince Charming. I am so lucky.

Beefcake.

Back in the day, I used to look like this:

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That was before I received a deep-fryer as a wedding gift, before I turned my uterus into a baby factory, and before my metabolism decided it was tired and needed a break.

I ended up with a muffin-top, or as I would rather refer to it, a Jell-O-Jiggler. I also put on a little extra cushioning everywhere else, around 15 pounds more than what you see in the picture above. I know that doesn’t sound like very much, but remember, I’m 4’11”. When I gain five pounds, it looks like I just packed on an extra ten. So, after Bronx was born, I finally admitted to myself that my tummy was a flabby mess and switched to a tankini.

That really sucked for me. As part of my package of personal flaws, I have a huge vanity problem. All of a sudden I went from having no body-image issues to wishing I could just stop eating altogether for a week to get my skinny back.

I just don’t have that kind of willpower. And I have a weakness for anything that is drenched in grease or covered in chocolate.

Gross, I know.

Around mid-February, I had an epiphany. Why the hell wasn’t I taking advantage of my husband’s membership discount at the gym where he works? He’s been there for almost nine years, so why I didn’t have this bright idea when we first got married or after I had my first baby still frustrates me. I could have avoided the mini-Buddha belly altogether if I weren’t such a pro at overlooking the obvious. Sometimes the blonde really does get the best of me. *Sigh*

In March, I got myself a gym buddy and I started getting serious. Since then, I have been using that picture to get motivated about getting my old body back. I spend 4-5 days a week, two hours a day, at the gym. I run and I lift weights.

On days that I don’t feel like going, I remind myself that it’ll give me a short break from the kid chaos in my life. Yay! Time to myself where I can actually think.

I’d be an idiot to pass that up.

In the past few weeks, I have really tried to shift my focus back to the running. I used to run track as a sprinter in high school and I loved it.

So, when my crazy, running fool of a sister (She went to college on a track scholarship and even though she has graduated, still runs) asked me if I wanted to run a 5K with her, I jumped at it.

I really shouldn’t jump at things like that. I am such a spaz.

At first, I was really excited and ambitious. Last week, I thought “Who am I kidding…there is no way I can run this!” and yesterday I decided that I better at least try to prepare for this madness. I’ve been gearing up ever since for the race, which is this Saturday. Today I ran my 1st practice 5K (which, truth be told, was the first 5K I have ever ran in my life) and I was surprised at how well I actually did. I ran the whole thing in THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES. If you break that down, that averages out to about 12 minutes per mile. Not too shabby for someone who was as out of shape as I was when I started this whole thing just a few months back.

My big goal (now that I know I will actually be able to make it through the entire race) is to be out of that stupid tankini and back into a real bikini before the end of summer.

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Unfortunately, I think that means I have to give up the Ben and Jerry’s.

I don’t know if I have the strength.

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