Try Not to Breathe.

He loves to toddle around the house in nothing but a diaper and push all the buttons on the remote control.

And if you ask him what sound a dinosaur makes, he puts his hands in the air and says “RAWR!”

He’s so very small, but he looks like a completely healthy, little baby boy.

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Only…he might not be.

We found out that some of the tests that he has undergone since his birthday have come back with abnormalities.

The results have been vague, but paired with his slow growth rate, there could be a real cause for concern at this point.

Actually, there may have been a cause for concern since the day he was born because he was actually measuring behind then too, even for being premature.

It really just may be that we are only finding out about it now.

And nobody can tell us what “it” could even possibly be.

Except that “it” probably isn’t good.

His pediatrician has referred us to several different specialists, but some of them are so booked up and high in demand that they can’t see him for another six months.

I think it’s asking a bit much to make us wait that long for any sort of answers.

I have some other avenues that I need to investigate, but now I am trying my hardest not to become overwhelmed with anxiety.

Because all this time, I knew that he was small. But now I look at him, and I wonder if his little body is more than just a leftover from being premature.

Maybe it’s a symptom of something much, much worse.

I really hope not.

Until then, I’m holding my breath.

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