The Lost Blog Archives : Wanna Get Punk'd by Someone Better Than Ashton? (2006)


This douchebag learned everything he knows from me.



Next time you head out to Michigan, you might want to bring a sister who gets off on watching you have a panic attack over a plate of crabcakes at a nice little outdoor cafe. Case in point, my sister Kila was completely unaware that she would be vacationing with the "punkmaster" when I tagged along on a family vacation over the past fourth of July. As we started our day roaming around little shops in the village, I fell in step behind Ki, and that gave me free grabs at everything in her open purse that was slung over her shoulder. I found myself gazing upon her cell phone, which could barely even be considered as being in her purse because it was clipped to her strap and hanging out of the top. So, being the considerate older sister, I had to teach her a lesson. Oh, and the phone was just screaming "Steal me" from its tempting location in that stupid purse. And that's when I snatched it and tossed it into my handbag in one slick fluid movement that would have even impressed and mystified the king of magic, David Copperfield.
The day went on, we shopped and I held my breath when Kila got out her wallet to pay for a pair of sunglasses. She was, of course, way too interested in the new accessory she was purchasing to have even a clue that her only lifeline to the world outside was missing. Many hours pass (somewhere close to five, if I remember correctly) until we all end up at a outdoor bar and grill. While we are eating, Kila starts to get out her phone and realizes that it has been abducted. "Quick, give me your phone Britt!" she yells in such a panicked tone that you'd think someone had cut off her oxygen. This was too good, she had asked me for a phone. So I handed over the swiped goods and she immediatly began to dial in a fit of psychotic anxiety. So stressed was she (I've been taking speech lessons from Yoda) that she did not notice for a good thirty seconds that the phone in her hand was the one that had disappeared. By the time she did, I had her angrily muttering, "Yeah, I got punk'd". Sucked for her, but now she knows who's boss in this family.


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