One of my fellow blogger friends has challenged me to write about something non-pregnancy or kid related, so I thought it would be a good idea to finally address a long-held topic of controversy surrounding my height.
People accuse me of being a midget.
It started out funny, as a joke. Through the years, it has progressed into an evil label that dumps me into the same category as tiny porn stars (i.e. Bridget the Midget) and those munchkins from the Wizard of Oz.
I don't really find this amusing anymore. So, let's set the record straight once and for all.
I am short. There is no debating that, for sure. At a towering 4'11", I am constantly mistaken for a teenager, attracting every pedophile within a thirty-mile radius and I can never reach anything on the top shelf at the grocery store. My car seat is pushed all the way into the steering wheel, and even then I can't reach the gas pedal in flats. I get carded trying to buy tickets for R-rated movies. I'm always the last to know when it's raining. As frustrating as all of this may be, the question still remains. Am I a midget? I needed to find out once and for all. I decided to do some research.
Turns out, the real question is whether or not I am a dwarf. I always thought that a dwarf was someone who was disproportionately short while midgets were proportional and tiny. That's wrong. According to The Little People of America, the term 'midget' dates back to 1865, during the height of the circus "freak show" era, and was applied only to short-statured persons who were displayed for public amusement. So, it seems that "midget" is really just another derogatory word for a person with dwarfism. On that same note, "dwarf" is actually considered offensive as well, which is why the politically correct label is now "little people".
So, am I a dwarf, or little person? It looks like the answer is no. Again, according to The Little People of America, as well as medical websites (i.e. The Mayo Clinic and WebMD), dwarfism is defined as a medical or genetic condition that usually results in an adult height of 4'10" or shorter. I managed to stay an entire inch above the cutoff.
It's time now for the name-calling to end. I am not a midget or dwarf or a little person. I'm just short. That's why I've never been thrown around in one of those midget-tossing contests at the bar.
And, no. Even if I were 4'10", I still wouldn't be able to obtain a handicap parking permit.